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What If Al Gore Had Lived In Ancient Greece?

Long, long ago in a Grecian city far, far away there lived a man named Albertus Goreus. While most of his class of citizens were content with their lives, Albertus felt unloved. And, so, one summer's day as he sat upon the steps of the temple of Zeus, he noticed how warm the air was. Albertus stared at the sun. How bright it shone! He could feel the heat pouring from the giant, golden orb of Apollo. Ten minutes later, as he was being carried away from the temple because he had stared at the sun to long, he thought, "Oh, my! The world will be burnt to a crisp if I don't do something about it!"... READ MORE

Jimmy Carter Has A New Mission In Life...

But you know how Jimmy is, always wanting to prove that he's right and that he wasn't the absolute worst president in history. That's right. The founder of Habitat For Humanity has a new organization that he will unveil soon. An organization which will help battle the effects of Global Warming AND the carelessness of humans. I think Jimmy should explain, so here's former President Jimmy Carter... READ MORE

The White House Dog Pageant

The First Family should be getting a new puppy sometime soon and the media seems to be going gaga over this tidbit of news. So, I'm going to jump on the bandwagon. Through a White House contact I have been directed to pictures of the puppy nominees. Here are their respective pictures with a brief description of their traits and qualities... READ MORE

Al Gore's Handy "How To Save The Planet Studyguide"

Hello, you all know me, I'm Al Gore the friendly CEO of the Eco-Movement! Like the biotch, I mean, Secretary of State, said, we need to correct our past mistakes and save our Earth from the dreadful possibility of more Spring-like days... READ MORE

GM's New Line Of Cars Are A Little Strange...

With the recent General Motor's stock grab by the United States government and the United Auto Worker's Union, there will be a few minor changes to the company... The production of gasoline powered automobiles will cease, as of now. New, cleaner cars have been produced, and you will see them very soon at your local car dealership. Here are a few... READ MORE

First the Wisconsin's teachers union went on strike, now the National Football League's players are  striking.  Unable to find a fair way to split 9 BILLION dollars in annual revenue, the football players and the NFL's League owners stopped negotiating entirely today.  When the strike will end is anyone's guess.

But don't worry my pigskin obsessed readers.  The NFL can hire replacements to play that will be just as entertaining and awe-inspiring as the players on your favorite team.

Phew Breeze-  Great Defensive End.  

Rhett Tard-  He will expose his vulnerable side when threatened.

Micheal Ticks-  This guy's known for his football skills. Off the field he is also known for his love for animals. They do not share that feeling, however.

Tom Brandy-  Wide Receiver.  He's found the perfect balance between his career and the nightlife. 

Ben Hamburglar-  AKA "The Quarter-Pounder".  He's a spokesman and best customer for a major fast food franchise.

Yummmm. . . .

9 Responses so far.

  1. Anonymous says:

    What a crock of sh@@

  2. Elm says:

    Fuzzys Dad- Well, that's my point. What fun is it to be serious all the time? These football players make millions and still are demanding more. I have a hard time feeling pity for them. But this blog is for pure fun. Not real news reporting. You wouldn't read Mad Magazine and expect serious reporting.

  3. Anonymous says:

    I agree these over paid cry babies are demand more money.
    While thousands of their fellow Americans are out of work.
    I am a big football fan.But if they strike it is over for me.
    I gave up on baseball because of the steroid stuff.
    I ask your forgiveness for my crude reaction and words.

  4. Elm says:

    Fuzzys Dad- No need to apologize. I had a similar reaction when I read the AP story.

  5. Elm, those are some hilarious images. I was lucky in a way: I wasn't eating when I first viewed the plumber-turned-defensive-end. Actually, I thought his end was more than a little offensive.

    Thanks for the laughs. I needed that!

  6. Great post. The insanity that is the NFL.

  7. Elm says:

    We need laughs more than ever now. The Japanese disaster just keeps getting worse. Then we have the NFL pouting for more money. My husband said he'd play football for free and here they are making millions per season. So I'm going all over the place searching for entertainment. I spent Saturday night watching a Weird Al Yankovic music video marathon with my kids and we were able to forget the problems of the world for a little while.

  8. Michael says:

    Please bring on the replacements. Screw the union and their ridiculous demands. I'd watch some replacements get some tv time.

  9. Elm says:

    Thanks for stopping by Michael. These replacement players would certainly bring a new level to football entertainment. But, I'm surprised no one has mentioned the flashing old geezer! It's obviously really Mr. Farve before his morning coffee and shave.

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