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Filling the USA with Conservatives since 2000

What If Al Gore Had Lived In Ancient Greece?

Long, long ago in a Grecian city far, far away there lived a man named Albertus Goreus. While most of his class of citizens were content with their lives, Albertus felt unloved. And, so, one summer's day as he sat upon the steps of the temple of Zeus, he noticed how warm the air was. Albertus stared at the sun. How bright it shone! He could feel the heat pouring from the giant, golden orb of Apollo. Ten minutes later, as he was being carried away from the temple because he had stared at the sun to long, he thought, "Oh, my! The world will be burnt to a crisp if I don't do something about it!"... READ MORE

Jimmy Carter Has A New Mission In Life...

But you know how Jimmy is, always wanting to prove that he's right and that he wasn't the absolute worst president in history. That's right. The founder of Habitat For Humanity has a new organization that he will unveil soon. An organization which will help battle the effects of Global Warming AND the carelessness of humans. I think Jimmy should explain, so here's former President Jimmy Carter... READ MORE

The White House Dog Pageant

The First Family should be getting a new puppy sometime soon and the media seems to be going gaga over this tidbit of news. So, I'm going to jump on the bandwagon. Through a White House contact I have been directed to pictures of the puppy nominees. Here are their respective pictures with a brief description of their traits and qualities... READ MORE

Al Gore's Handy "How To Save The Planet Studyguide"

Hello, you all know me, I'm Al Gore the friendly CEO of the Eco-Movement! Like the biotch, I mean, Secretary of State, said, we need to correct our past mistakes and save our Earth from the dreadful possibility of more Spring-like days... READ MORE

GM's New Line Of Cars Are A Little Strange...

With the recent General Motor's stock grab by the United States government and the United Auto Worker's Union, there will be a few minor changes to the company... The production of gasoline powered automobiles will cease, as of now. New, cleaner cars have been produced, and you will see them very soon at your local car dealership. Here are a few... READ MORE

Can't afford the rising cost of gas at the pump? Wish there was an affordable and easier way way to fill up your tank? We at General Motors feel your pain. That's why we are now unveiling our newest car prototype.

The Obamabile.

The Obamabile runs entirely on President Barack Obama's "misspeaks" or "word-farts". His powerful verbal gas provides enough fuel for our car to drive 300 miles on just one non-teleprompter speech.

But, what is the environmental impact of the Obamabile with its revolutionary fuel system? Unfortunately, there is a downside to the vehicle. Obama's misspeaks cause traumatic ear aches and does not help with the White House's smug problem.

6 Responses so far.

  1. Anonymous says:

    I'm thinking Government Motors will have to go over the top on price concessions for this hunk of junk. But the slogan seems destined for great things: "It's Better Than Walking".

    Another big plus: If Chairman O actually finds himself in Federal Court, defending himself on a contempt of court charge, one day's worth of "word-farts" and errrrs, uhhhh, and "misspeaks" should provide about a month's motive power for the entire fleet.

    I guess it's all good, though -- findina an actual use for the president's verbal gas.

  2. Scott says:

    Unlimited fuel supply there to be sure! But USA Todat reports that we don't have to worry. Businesses are just passing on the fuel cost to consumers faster than ever. No inflation or job cuts there, right? BO in charge now--What mmme worry. Oh GM is doing fine too. Millions are going to UAW bonuses. All is well in Obamaland.

  3. Elm says:

    HPJ- I wish I'd thought of writing "Government Motors". It adds another layer of snark.

    Scott- Before long BO will be the only person left with a job.

  4. As good as it sounds I will pass on this purchase.

    I love the use of "word farts".

  5. Hey -- Sorry I didn't get a chance to mention this: I had to entirely scrap my blog, due to personal considerations. I'm not sick or anything, so as far as I know, I'm not about to die out... I really shouldn't have tried to put up a blog just now. I hope to continue commenting, and, when the timing is better, put up another blog and lavish loads of loving attention on it. I will shout out when I can. My worklife is very messed up right now, so I'll be trying to make it right. Take care...

  6. Elm says:

    HPJ- Okay, I was away from my computer for most of yesterday. So when I got on this morning and went to your blog I was wondering what happened.

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