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What If Al Gore Had Lived In Ancient Greece?

Long, long ago in a Grecian city far, far away there lived a man named Albertus Goreus. While most of his class of citizens were content with their lives, Albertus felt unloved. And, so, one summer's day as he sat upon the steps of the temple of Zeus, he noticed how warm the air was. Albertus stared at the sun. How bright it shone! He could feel the heat pouring from the giant, golden orb of Apollo. Ten minutes later, as he was being carried away from the temple because he had stared at the sun to long, he thought, "Oh, my! The world will be burnt to a crisp if I don't do something about it!"... READ MORE

Jimmy Carter Has A New Mission In Life...

But you know how Jimmy is, always wanting to prove that he's right and that he wasn't the absolute worst president in history. That's right. The founder of Habitat For Humanity has a new organization that he will unveil soon. An organization which will help battle the effects of Global Warming AND the carelessness of humans. I think Jimmy should explain, so here's former President Jimmy Carter... READ MORE

The White House Dog Pageant

The First Family should be getting a new puppy sometime soon and the media seems to be going gaga over this tidbit of news. So, I'm going to jump on the bandwagon. Through a White House contact I have been directed to pictures of the puppy nominees. Here are their respective pictures with a brief description of their traits and qualities... READ MORE

Al Gore's Handy "How To Save The Planet Studyguide"

Hello, you all know me, I'm Al Gore the friendly CEO of the Eco-Movement! Like the biotch, I mean, Secretary of State, said, we need to correct our past mistakes and save our Earth from the dreadful possibility of more Spring-like days... READ MORE

GM's New Line Of Cars Are A Little Strange...

With the recent General Motor's stock grab by the United States government and the United Auto Worker's Union, there will be a few minor changes to the company... The production of gasoline powered automobiles will cease, as of now. New, cleaner cars have been produced, and you will see them very soon at your local car dealership. Here are a few... READ MORE

With the recent General Motor's stock grab by the United States government and the United Auto Worker's Union, there will be a few minor changes to the company.

#1- Auto workers will now be asked to work when they feel like it. Five day work week? Who needs it? Come on in when the time is right for you.

#2- The new CEO is Our Lord and Savior, Barack Obama.

#3- In order to buy a car you first must pass a loyalty test.

#4- The government, with the cooperation of GM, is placing a "car pool" computer chip in the seats of all new cars and trucks. Cars will not start if there is only one person detected in the vehicle. Car pooling saves energy and protects us against Global Warming.

#5- The production of gasoline powered automobiles will cease, as of now. New, cleaner cars have been produced, and you will see them very soon at your local car dealership. Here are a few.


This is a one-horse powered model.


There are a few kinks to work out though...



This beauty runs off of cow gas.



The process of photosynthesis produces enough energy to power our flower-mobile. The only downside is that a colony of bees have made their hive on the driver's seat.



Ever wanted a chauffeur?




The rich gases of decaying animals is a green way to power your vehicle. Don't worry, the animal died naturally and signed a consent form for the the opportunity of saving the planet.




All of our new models feature...

Large trunk spaces.




A custom paint job- of the government's choosing, of coarse.





A completely biodegradable body, so beware of leaving the vehicle in one place for too long.



And the interior has plenty of room for any packages that you may have.


In conclusion, there is no need to fear. GM is in good hands. Happy driving!

13 Responses so far.

  1. Wonder if they will have a model that will run off the hot gas that comes our of liberals,like Chris Todd and Barney Franks. Now that would cut down the CO2.

  2. I bet that one-horse power model may get a little pungent when that one-horse fails the emissions test.

    Hey with the hive car you get all the free honey you can get.

  3. Diller says:

    Elm,your getting better and better with these posts and pics,funny as Hell. Could not park the Holstein car in my pasture,got an ol Angus bull that would crush it.

  4. Elm says:

    Diller- The exhaust pipe puts off milk.

  5. I wish I had your flair for posts. They are great.

  6. The one with the dead deer on top rotting was a lungbuster for me. I need my inhaler.

    Great post.

  7. Grandma J says:

    Those are hilarious! I like the one car with a trunk big enough to transport immigrants to their new jobs at GM.

  8. cbullitt says:

    Nicely done.
    I'm told the new unicorn fart-powered BO mobiles have a range of 5 whole miles--so you have to live in the city--and they only cost $92,000 each.
    But if you're a hunchback born on a Wednesday, have 12 or more children in the free lunch program and live in New Jersey, you can get on the 9-year waiting list for the $91,000 federal subsidy.

  9. Hammer says:

    Hilarious! I wonder if they'll give me carbon credits if I help pedal.

  10. Old NFO says:

    WELL DONE! Here's hoping it doesn't come true, but I did pick up a new pair of riding boots a couple of weeks ago...sigh...

  11. JihadGene says:

    Those pictures were great!

  12. This is very nice and informative blog thanks for sharing this informationareDealership Loyalty Programfully insured to provide your belongings the extra cushion that they might need during the transit and giving you the peace of mind that your valuable possessions are in good hands.

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