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Filling the USA with Conservatives since 2000

What If Al Gore Had Lived In Ancient Greece?

Long, long ago in a Grecian city far, far away there lived a man named Albertus Goreus. While most of his class of citizens were content with their lives, Albertus felt unloved. And, so, one summer's day as he sat upon the steps of the temple of Zeus, he noticed how warm the air was. Albertus stared at the sun. How bright it shone! He could feel the heat pouring from the giant, golden orb of Apollo. Ten minutes later, as he was being carried away from the temple because he had stared at the sun to long, he thought, "Oh, my! The world will be burnt to a crisp if I don't do something about it!"... READ MORE

Jimmy Carter Has A New Mission In Life...

But you know how Jimmy is, always wanting to prove that he's right and that he wasn't the absolute worst president in history. That's right. The founder of Habitat For Humanity has a new organization that he will unveil soon. An organization which will help battle the effects of Global Warming AND the carelessness of humans. I think Jimmy should explain, so here's former President Jimmy Carter... READ MORE

The White House Dog Pageant

The First Family should be getting a new puppy sometime soon and the media seems to be going gaga over this tidbit of news. So, I'm going to jump on the bandwagon. Through a White House contact I have been directed to pictures of the puppy nominees. Here are their respective pictures with a brief description of their traits and qualities... READ MORE

Al Gore's Handy "How To Save The Planet Studyguide"

Hello, you all know me, I'm Al Gore the friendly CEO of the Eco-Movement! Like the biotch, I mean, Secretary of State, said, we need to correct our past mistakes and save our Earth from the dreadful possibility of more Spring-like days... READ MORE

GM's New Line Of Cars Are A Little Strange...

With the recent General Motor's stock grab by the United States government and the United Auto Worker's Union, there will be a few minor changes to the company... The production of gasoline powered automobiles will cease, as of now. New, cleaner cars have been produced, and you will see them very soon at your local car dealership. Here are a few... READ MORE

My Top Five April Fool's Day Jokes That I Wish Were True

#5 Director Michael Moore, hungry after a day of Conservative bashing, mistakes his own tongue for beef jerky. With the loss of coherent speech, he is forced to retire from political movie making. His new job title- mime.

#4 Nancy Pelosi apologizes for the gigantic stimulus bill she helped push through Congress. She henceforth promises to be frugal with tax payer money, and decides to use Greyhound instead of Military jets when traveling.

#3 Hillary Clinton bitch slaps Bill after she hears of his 2 million dollar donation to Pop singer Shakira's foundation. Bill says that he did it for the children. Hillary says he did it because of something else.

#2 President Barack Obama declares that he is "not ready" for the responsibility of running the country. After his resignation, Joe Biden flees to Switzerland to escape from becoming president. Numerous potential presidents also flee, leaving only Governor Sarah Palin to pick up the pieces of the Presidency. She then deports Obama because he is an "illegal alien".

#1 Terrorist Osama Bin Laden was trapped by American forces in a dark, musty cave in northern Pakistan. Begging for mercy from his captors a Marine asked Bin Laden if he felt guilt over the thousands of innocent victims he had slaughtered. When Bin Laden expressed his delight in the deaths he had orchestrated, the Marine gave a sharp kick to Bin Laden's "private area". Osama will get little use out of his 40 virgins after he is executed now.

8 Responses so far.

  1. Grandma J says:

    What a hoot! I heard Obama gave the Queen an ipod....please tell me that's an April Fools joke too.

  2. Anonymous says:

    Have you been peeking at my dreams?

    Because I swear you have been,seeing this is what I dream of every night. That and,owning Colt,Smith and Wesson,and Bushmaster.

    Hey a boy can dream can't he?

  3. Well done.

    Maybe number #5 will help with Moore's lard ass.

    Yes, to dream.

  4. Diller says:

    Five good ones, now if they would all become reality,that would make my Golden yrs,a Hellava lot more enjoyable.

  5. Old NFO says:

    AMEN!!!! If only... sigh...

  6. cbullitt says:

    If I had to vote, I'd go with number 2.

  7. cbullitt says:

    Hey Elm, I believe you were my 3,000th hit. Less than a month. Is that good?

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