This idea was inspired via Conservative Scalawag's Blog.
Have you ever become hopelessly confused concerning the new liberal jargon? Terms that were once used daily by the government have disappeared. Through exhausting research I have compiled a list of terms that were once used, and have defined them so that even a left-winger could understand them. And I have provided the definitions to the new liberal words that we are just now beginning to learn from the new administration. Shall we begin?
Enemy Combatant- Term created during George W. Bush's presidency meaning a person suspected of terrorist acts and/or fighting against American Armed Forces. As in, the enemy combatant was detained in Guantanamo Bay.
The new liberal term for enemy combatant- Misinterpreted Patriot. New sentence: The misinterpreted patriot was detained in Guantanamo Bay. Doesn't that sound nicer?
Terrorist- Person who causes chaos, death, and destruction. As in, The terrorists hijacked four planes.
The new liberal term for terrorist- Confused Radical. New sentence: The confused radicals hijacked four planes. This person is not a terrorist- they are only confused. Give 'em a hug and they will certainly want to be your friend.
President- A leader of a country or organization. As in, The citizens of the United States have declared Barack Obama to be president.
The new liberal term for president- His Royal Highness. New sentence: The citizens of the United States have declared Barack Obama to be His Royal Highness. You also may substitute His Royal Highness with the terms His Royal Hineass or His Royal Jackass, whichever you prefer.
Ally- Friend. Or a county who cooperates with another country for mutual benefit. As in, Our allies depended on the United States for their safety and livelihood.
There is currently no liberal term for this word. Liberals have not added this word to their language. His Royal Hineass is currently considering abolishing this term altogether.
Illegal Alien- Person who resides in a country illegally. A person who enters a country without permission from that country's government. As in, The illegal alien works at a toy factory in Memphis.
The new liberal term for illegal alien- U.S. Job Taker. New sentence: The U.S. Job Taker works at a toy factory in Memphis. You see? The U.S. Job Taker only wants to work at the jobs that Americans don't want. Note: There is currently 300 American citizens waiting for the U.S. Job Taker to leave his position at the toy factory and return to Guatemala.
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