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What If Al Gore Had Lived In Ancient Greece?

Long, long ago in a Grecian city far, far away there lived a man named Albertus Goreus. While most of his class of citizens were content with their lives, Albertus felt unloved. And, so, one summer's day as he sat upon the steps of the temple of Zeus, he noticed how warm the air was. Albertus stared at the sun. How bright it shone! He could feel the heat pouring from the giant, golden orb of Apollo. Ten minutes later, as he was being carried away from the temple because he had stared at the sun to long, he thought, "Oh, my! The world will be burnt to a crisp if I don't do something about it!"... READ MORE

Jimmy Carter Has A New Mission In Life...

But you know how Jimmy is, always wanting to prove that he's right and that he wasn't the absolute worst president in history. That's right. The founder of Habitat For Humanity has a new organization that he will unveil soon. An organization which will help battle the effects of Global Warming AND the carelessness of humans. I think Jimmy should explain, so here's former President Jimmy Carter... READ MORE

The White House Dog Pageant

The First Family should be getting a new puppy sometime soon and the media seems to be going gaga over this tidbit of news. So, I'm going to jump on the bandwagon. Through a White House contact I have been directed to pictures of the puppy nominees. Here are their respective pictures with a brief description of their traits and qualities... READ MORE

Al Gore's Handy "How To Save The Planet Studyguide"

Hello, you all know me, I'm Al Gore the friendly CEO of the Eco-Movement! Like the biotch, I mean, Secretary of State, said, we need to correct our past mistakes and save our Earth from the dreadful possibility of more Spring-like days... READ MORE

GM's New Line Of Cars Are A Little Strange...

With the recent General Motor's stock grab by the United States government and the United Auto Worker's Union, there will be a few minor changes to the company... The production of gasoline powered automobiles will cease, as of now. New, cleaner cars have been produced, and you will see them very soon at your local car dealership. Here are a few... READ MORE

I read this story at Support Your Local Gunfighter.

A man in Pennsylvania on a DUI charge claims that the courts have no jurisdiction over him because he is his own country. Scott Allan Witmer, who was arrested for drunk driving, said in court, "I live inside myself, not in Pennsylvania."

At first glance you may think this guy is nuts, but consider. This could be your way out of responsibility forever!

IRS agent- Sir, you havn't paid your taxes in 17 years. You owe the US $50,000 right now.
You- I'm sorry, but I haven't lived in the US for 46 years. I live in myself and have been paying taxes to myself the entire time.

Police Officer- Ma'am, you ran past a red light and were driving 20 miles over the speeding limit.
You- In my country I don't need to stop at red lights, and I can drive any speed I want.

You- Why, hello Obama.
President Barack Obama- You will call me Mr. President or President Obama. The term "Obama" in reference to me is rude.
You- What? Are you crazy or something? In my country I'm known as Greg. But you may refer to me as Your Most Greatest Of The Great King Greg.

This Scott Allan Witmer needs to do a few things to legitimize his country. He needs a Constitution, a Bill of Rights, and a national song. Heck, I may do it, too. Maybe that will get me out of having to do the laundry.

8 Responses so far.

  1. Anonymous says:

    Sorry,but nothing gets you out of doing laundry. And yes, you have to fold them too.

  2. Elm says:

    OK, but I'm not starching 'em

  3. LOL. I can only imagine what this guys life is really like.

    Laundry with starch is just plain harsh.

  4. Red says:

    I'm the Capital of ME!Woot!

  5. Elm says:

    Red- I'm having problems commenting on your blog and others that use the embedded comment form. Have been trying to comment for like two days! The account/identity box is always empty. So, don't think I'm ignoring your blog. I'm at the point where I'm about to choke my computer. Sigh...

  6. Son3 says:

    Wow, this the extreme side of micronationalism... and I like it!

    The idea is sound (individualism, that is), and not to be a wet blanket, but you've got to obey the laws.

    One guy in Nevada claims his property is a sovereign country, and he calls taxes "foreign aid"; his attitude is right, as we don't work for them, they work for us.

    BTW, Scalawag's right, you have to do the laundry.


  7. Anonymous says:

    If it would get me out of laundry.But it will not.

  8. At first glance you may think this guy is nuts, but consider. This could be your way out of responsibility forever!

    First impressions are always the best

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